i exist. aquí. contigo.

I guess I am into the writing mood again. Here are some poems. First drafts, like always.

 To be a poet

To be a poet
you have to be honest
but do not tell everybody
your wife’s business
or the size
of your love

(unless you use metaphors)

Agustín Palacios
First Draft
07.02.09

On the impossibility of words

my poems could say
almost anything
home or mother
but they do not smell of fresh tortillas
and compared to a chile relleno
words are hollow

First Draft, 07.02.09
Agustín Palacios

“my Indian informants” 
(In response to Friar Diego Durán (1537 to 1588) who collected stories from indigenous people so that he could better understand their culture for purposes of eradication.)

my ancestors lied to priests
and broke promises
to escape the jagged edge of crosses
they twisted their tongues
into words of bone and wood
to quiet
our story unconquered
to a whisper

go north
to the seven cities of gold
to Cíbola Quivira Atlantis
here only beans and corn
here only our tied hands.
Yes, Quetzalcoatl was Saint Thomas
Tonantzin the Virgin Mary
your god is the only god

in the library
I comb through colonial books
looking for the whispers
like cleaning beans
except here
there is mostly rocks

I don’t trust
my Spanish informant

First Draft 07.02.09
Agustín Palacios

So many breads to choose from. All those colors, shapes and flavors. My favorite Mexican bread son los ‘puerquitos.’ I eat them with my coffee. I like them fresh, warm, soft. Or if I leave them out a day or two, and they get a little hard and dry, they are great for dipping in my coffee. Yes, these puerquitos have cost me quite a few extra pounds.

The other day, driving on the 680, going home from work. I saw a van with a sign “Pan Mexicano,” what a great idea. Yes, Mexican unity in diversity, from mestizos to indigenous. Dah, it was not “Pan,” as in “Pan-Latino,” or cross-ethnic/national alliance. It was good old fashion ‘pan,’ as in bread. Que menzo, thinking all this theory and about the possibility of Mexican, Chican@, indigenous, Latino unity, got me seeing things. But why not? It makes sense, Mexican bread is so diverse, con todos esos nombres raros: “ojo de buey,” “niño envuelto,” “pierna,” “cema,” etc. Hey, even the common bread has different names: birote, bolillo, teleras (maybe they are different breads, but I am not sure). The French and the Jewish people contributed much to our Mexican bread, so have indigenous people. No, I am not talking about mestizaje, this is not about race at all. Or about a melting pot (some peoples’ talk about mestizaje reminds me of the melting pot bs, they must be on pot themselves). I am talking about rich diversity, and a diversity that respects difference, that treasures cultural continuity as well as cultural invention. Simon que yes!

Pero no es simplemente nuestra cultura lo que nos une. A unity based on culture is not enough, it needs to be informed by politics. It is not about cultural nationalism, but about a vision of the future based on social justice and respect of difference. As the Zapatistas, say, “por un mundo donde quepan muchos mundos.” Democracia, libertad, justicia.
Here goes my puerquito into my coffee cup. Hey, isn’t coffee from Ethiopia? De todo el mundo soy, soy Mexicano, Chicano, humano.

From The Hummingbird’s Daughter By Luis Alberto Urrea.

“God can do the impossible,” he proclaimed.

“Really?” she said. “They why does He not cure all of these suffering people, right now?”

“I don’t know.”

“Tell me which is worse, Pope Chávez–is it that God cannot cure them all, or that He will not cure them?”

….

“You should know the answer,” she said. “You should know what it is your really think of God.”

[p. 376]

I just finished reading Luis Alberto Urrea’s novel, The Hummingbird’s Daughter. It was recommended to me by Beth, a Native American professor. I thought it interesting that a Native American would recommend a Chicano author writing about indigenous people. To be honest, Chicanos/as often write like New Agers, or romanticize indigeneity too much for my taste. So, I read the novel and liked it so much that I am making it required reading for my literature class.

The novel takes place in Mexico, right up to the 1910 Mexican Revolution.  It is based on the author’s distant cousin, Teresa Urrea. It is a fictionalized narrative based on the life of Santa Teresa, who the Yaqui and other Mexicans saw as a holy woman. She could heal through touch and she always smelled like roses. What I liked about her, is that she spoke of social justice, she denounced Díaz as a bad president, and claimed that the land belonged to the people. So, it was a good mix of politics and spirituality. Luis Alberto, like me, did not believe in spirits. I am still very skeptical about all spirituality, a skeptic that wants to believe. He did 20 years of research and field work, and spoke to curanderas.  In a column he wrote about the novel (included at the end of the book), he writes about a Lakota medicine man who sent a warrior spirit to protect Urrea in his journey. He thought it symbolical. But when he got to Mexico, the curanderas were shocked to see an long hair indian standing beside him. Many incidents like this seems to make Urrea a skeptical believer.

The passage above caught my attention. I read the novel as a skeptic. I do not accept the Christian version of God, or any version that claims that all of earth’s happenings are god’s will and that he (why not a she or dual or queer god?) is omnipotent. Teresita’s question gets to the heart of the matter. But the answer is not either or. It is not, either God exists and he/she is super powerful and has total control, or he does not exist. I think of it in terms of energies (for lack of better word) that have great influence over creation. There does seem to be a creative energy (and energy is another word I use for spirit) active in all of living things. Now, that this creative spirit has consciousness or will, that’s another story (if we have consciousness and will, why not creative energies?). I am okay with not knowing. What I do believe in, is humanity. That most human beings have innate worth and are good people.

My daughter and wife go to Catholic mass now and then. Once my daughter said to me, (teasing i guess or wondering to herself) “if you don’t believe in god you are going to hell.” I found it amusing. I answered, “no, since i don’t believe in hell, i don’t have to go. only those that believe in it are at risk of going there.” of course, it’s a false logic, but was funny.
Bueno, a lo mejor cuando me muera lo sabre. Y si no, pues ni modo.

I can’t believe that Central American countries are still going through shit like this. I guess Che Guevara was right, you have to arm the people to protect the revolution. Not to say that Honduras’ president was revolutionary, but a military overthrow is just not right.This guy, Micheletti, apparently was from the same party. Even if you agree that this need to stay if power is wrong, I don’t see who in the right mind would support a military overthrow. It just sets a very dangerous precedent, and who knows how strong the military would come out of this. Now Hugo Chavez and other ‘leftist’ governments are calling for Zelaya’s return.
Ahora hay que ver if the US will do as in the 80s, or if they will not get involved. Para mi, mejor que los estados unidos ni se meta.
From Al Jazeera:

UPDATED ON: Monday, June 29, 2009 04:32 Mecca time, 01:32 GMT
News Americas Honduras under curfew after coup Protesters outside the presidential palace voiced their anger at the court-backed military coup [AFP] The newly sworn-in acting president of Honduras has imposed a two-day nationwide curfew following a military coup that sent Manuel Zelaya, the president, into exile. Roberto Micheletti, the parliamentary speaker until Sunday when he was sworn in as Zelaya’s replacement, told a news conference that the curfew would run from 9pm (03:00 GMT) to 6am on Sunday and Monday. The order comes as hundreds of Zelaya supporters set up barricades in the centre of the capital, Tegucigalpa, on Sunday and sealed off road access to the presidential palace. Al Jazeera’s Mariana Sanchez, reporting from Tegucigalpa, said that a lot of very angry people were wielding sticks and steel batons. At one point they tried to push their way into the palace, but the army inside resisted, she said, adding that some among the protesters were trying to calm people down. In depth  Honduras urged to restore Zelaya  Video: Zelaya seeks asylum  Video: Turmoil in Honduras The protesters were calling for the reinstatement of Zelaya, who was taken by soldiers from his home while still in his pyjamas on Sunday, and sent to Costa Rica after he tried to carry out a referendum to extend his term in office.Micheletti, who is from the same Liberal party as Zelaya, promised to govern with “transparency and honesty” and “work tirelessly to restore peace and tranquillity that we have lost”. ‘Legal process’ He said Zelaya was not ousted through a coup but by a legal process. “I came to the presidency not by a coup d’etat but by a completely legal process as set out in our laws,” Micheletti said after being sworn in by congress on Sunday. Zelaya was elected for a non-renewable four-year term in 2006 [File: AFP] “What we have done here is an act of democracy, because our army has complied with the order of the court, prosecutors and judges,” Micheletti said, winning loud applause from legislators. But Zelaya said he had been a “victim of kidnapping” when Honduran soldiers raided his home earlier in the day. “They came to my house in the early hours of the morning and firing guns, they broke the doors with bayonets and threatened to shoot me,” Zelaya told Venezuela’s Telesur television station after being taken by troops to Costa Rica. Calling for “peaceful resistance”, he said he did not “think that the whole army supported this interruption of the democratic system by capturing a president elected by the people”. Little support But whether in the military, parliament or in the judiciary, Zelaya appeared to have little support in Honduras on Sunday. Colin Harding, an expert in Latin American politics, told Al Jazeera that Zelaya had apparently overestimated his own power in pushing for the referendum. “He has no support in within his own party, he is opposed by congress, he is opposed by the judiciary and the military, who are not the power they used to be but have lined up against Zelaya ostensibly in defence of legality,” he said. Country facts  Second largest country in Central America  Population of 7.2 million  Second poorest country in the region  Economy forecast to grow less than two per cent this year  Relies on money from Hondurans in the US for more than 25 per cent of its gross domestic product  Former Spanish colony gained independence in 1821 The supreme court said it had ordered his removal in order to protect law and order in the nation of some seven million people. “Today’s events originate from a court order by a competent judge,” it said, adding that the armed forces “acted to defend the state of law”. Congress said it had voted unanimously to remove Zelaya from office for his “apparent misconduct” and for “repeated violations of the constitution and the law and disregard of orders and judgments of the institutions”. Zelaya, who was elected in November 2005 to a non-renewable four-year term, had sought to revise the constitution through a referendum to allow him to run again in the next elections. The supreme court had ruled such a referendum illegal, but Zelaya had tried to press ahead with a vote on Sunday anyway, triggering the coup. Micheletti is set to stay in office until January 27 next year, when a new president elected in planned November elections is due to take over. Meanwhile, the UN General Assembly announced it would hold an emergency session on Monday to discuss the unrest in Honduras, at the request of Honduran ambassador to the UN, Jorge Reina Idiaquez.

On Latin@ and Black Conflict (and Unity)
Red and Black Column by A. P.

June 25th, 2009
Today I was shocked when I heard a high school teacher tell a student that the Katrina survivors “blew off” (spent) their federal assistance, and now they came to California and other states to steal, rape and kill. Her comment came out of frustration about last years murder of a Latino by a group of African Americans from New Orleans. Still, I could not believe that an educated Latina would talk like this, especially to a student. I am aware of the racial/ethnic tensions between blacks and Latin@s, but I also know that there is a good number of blacks and Latinos that seek mutual understanding and coalition. This highlights the need for Ethnic Studies classes, especially comparative Ethnic Studies classes that teach students about the common struggles of people of color in the US, as well as teach about those key moments in history where different ethno-racial groups have joined together to fight for a common cause.

While Chican@ Studies, and Black Studies are greatly necessary to instill a sense of dignity and critical outlook, but without a comparative approach, they will not seek to work with other people of color. California demographics are constantly changing; a place that migh have been predominantly African American or Latino, might now be a lot more diverse. I think this is true of places like Richmond, Oakland, and San Jose. African Americans, Asian American, Native Americans, and Latin@s are coming in contact with one another at increasing rate and in a variety of ways.

If we just spend a moment thinking about the problems that working class people and people of color face, we will see that we have plenty of things in common. Let me suggest a few:

History of Common Struggle: The common saying that “knowledge is power” is true. If we consider that through out five hundred plus years of colonization, people of color and working class whites have come together to defend human life, dignity and liberty, we will see that only through coalitions can we achieve greater equality. For example, it took a coalition of Filipino, Mexicans, and whites for the UFW to gain the right to unions. It was actually the Filipinos who first went on strike, the Mexican American/Chican@ workers joined them later. It was also thanks to white folks who boycotted grapes and picketed outside stores that made the whole campaign succeed. Ethnic Studies departments came out of a student and community activist coalition that included Blacks, Asians, Chican@s, and Native Americans, as well as radical whites.

Housing: Housing is a human right, not a privilege. At the highest level of national security, should be the meeting of the basic needs of the population, and that means housing. Not “affordable housing,” but acessible housing for everyone, even those who cannot afford it. Instead of the goverment bailing out the banks, Obama and the rest should have bailed out working families who are struggling to stay in their homes, at the very least, a foreclosure-freeze. Furthermore, people of color and working class whites need to come together in direct action to opposse all evictions.

War and Military: Obama was never anti-war, he was just for the long and painful pulling out of Iraq. He’s war is in Afghanistan and Pakistan. With economic depression, high unemployment, increasing cost of food and other necessities, as well as the increasing of educational fees for public educaction (why are we still calling it public, when the public cannot attend, but do pay for it?), young people are being forced to join the military. Latino and Black families are constantly bombarded with military recruitment adds, harassment by recruiters, and the glorification of war through movies and video games. This is class warfare, pure and simple. Poor people, especially poor people of color, seem to be expendable to the rich. We should ask Obama, and the rest of Congress, if they are willing to send their sons and daughters to war. The answer is obvious, they will not go. Communities accross the United States should join together to kick the recruiters out of our schools. This is to start, we should also demand realistic representations of military life and war in their adds.

Police and ICE Harassment/brutality: How many young men of color have been killed this year by the police? How many families have been split by ICE, who like the police, invade our communities looking for the most vulnerable? The police, the military, and the pinche migra exist to protect the interest of the rich. This is not to say that we do not need community security, but the police do not serve us. How many police departments are truly run by the community? The United States, and the rest of the G8, IMF, World Bank, and transnational corporations create the conditions for poverty and forced migration. Migrants from Mexico and Central America (and other impoviresh parts of the world) are economic refugees. These same economic powers are the ones causing urban unemployment, low wages, etc. We need to take back our communities. I am not talking about narrow nationalism, community control and autonomy is for all members of the community, regardless of race/ethnicity.

Health Care: Common knowledge today seems to be: “Don’t get sick without health insurance,” or “don’t get sick, PERIOD.” This country’s health care system seems to be beyond reform, it needs radical change. Our most basic necessities, such as housing, food, and health care should not be driven by profit. This economic system, capitalism, needs low-wage exploitable workers to exist. Without cheap labor, the rich cannot draw the massive profits they need to keep the economy going. One of the most radical moves we can do, is take back our health care system. Localize it. Honestly, either we have a national health care system like they do in Cuba, Canada or France, or we stop paying taxes. I would rather have all my taxes stay at the California State and local level. Really, why do we need the federal government?

Education:The best cure against injustice, is education. If people have a strong sense of dignity, as well as a critical understanding of history and society, we can change the world. The UC system just raised tuition by almost 10%, again! If we compare the cost of attending UC in 1998 (the year I started my undergraduate education) to how much it will cost in 2010, we will see that it has more than doubled! Once again, this system is not working for us. Blacks, Native Americans, Pacific Islanders, Latin@s, we are all being squeezed out of higher education, at the same time that the K-12 public education gets strip to the bones. Sorry for repeating myself, this is a clear war against the poor.

To go back to the beginning of this column, I was shocked to hear a Latina teacher speak is such a racist way against black Katrina survivors. Her comments came after a group of African American men beat to death a young Latino (they were trying to rob him). Rather than continue to equate blackness with crime, we need to speak about the conditions that create violence among all people of color. It seems to come down to poverty, a history of violence against people of color that works to desesitize them (in some), the lack of education, and the government’s abandonment of the poor.

I once read in a wall that “crime is a product of the system.” The small size graffiti (in the form of a self-made sticker) was at a UC Berkeley wall in the department of Ethnic Studies.  I was glad someone put the piece up, it seems that our students are learning something.

Pass it on.
…..

This has been my first Red and Black Column. Hopefully I will continue these every month. Peace.

Agustín Palacios is an Ethnic Studies doctoral candidate at UC Berkeley. He is a poet and family man.

Tom Horne to Ethnic Studies: Drop Dead!

Arizona Watch
New America Media, Commentary
Roberto Dr. Cintli Rodriguez
Posted: Jun 19, 2009

TUCSON — Arizona is the New South and the new South Africa. It is the
home of Sheriff Joe Arpaio, where racial profiling is official policy.
Now, in another form of profiling, State Superintendent of Schools Tom
Horne wants to eliminate ethnic studies.

At his behest and by a 4-3 Senate panel vote, an amendment to
education bill S.B. 1069 was passed that emphasizes the teaching of
individualism at the expense of ethnic studies. The bill would permit
the department of education to withhold 10 percent of state monies if
ethnic studies continue to exist. The full legislature is expected to
pass it within several weeks, and Republican Gov. Jan Brewer is
expected to sign it into law.

Horne has spent two-and-a-half years pushing this bill, and it will
effectively send Arizona school children into the dark ages.
Overriding the concept of local control, Horne wants Arizona teachers
to impose one view of America upon the state’s children.

His objective, according a press release from his office, is “to
prohibit ethnic studies in Arizona public schools.” But his real
objective appears to be ensuring that only the nation’s sacrosanct
national narrative is taught in schools.

This narrative is presumably the nation’s greatest asset. It is a
compilation of foundational myths and legends that defines the United
States as the New Promised Land -– a nation chosen by God to
essentially create heaven on earth. Its secular version is to
militarily spread freedom, democracy and capitalism to the rest of the
world.

Horne joins the likes of Newt Gingrich, Tom Tancredo, Rush Limbaugh,
Lou Dobbs and all their talk-show brethren, in both promoting
scapegoat politics and in corrupting the English language.

In Horne’s America, genocide, slavery, land theft, segregation,
discrimination, extralegal brutality and racial supremacy are taught
as footnotes at best, or disappeared altogether. In his America,
exclusion is inclusion and ignorance is bliss. In attempting to impose
his philosophy, he fancies himself as carrying on the work of Martin
Luther King, Jr. He oxymoronically accuses ethnic studies educators of
promoting racism and separatism.

The legislation targets ethnic studies, but exempts “classes or
courses for Native American pupils that are required to comply with
federal law.” Also exempted are classes for English learners. Horne’s
actual target is Raza Studies at Tucson Unified School district. In
his crusade, he accuses Raza Studies of promoting “ethnic chauvinism”
and of being a “dysfunctional program.”

Nicollete Gomez, who was in both Native American and Raza Studies at
Tucson High School, says, “The outsiders who say that we are
‘unAmerican’ and ‘dysfunctional’ obviously do not sit in these classes
to experience intellectual students ready for college material.”

Horne is seemingly unaware that students from Raza Studies, who are
taught about their indigenous cultures, consistently outperform
students from all backgrounds at TUSD. They also have a very high
college-going rate. Research by Dr. Augustine Romero, former director
of Raza Studies, confirms this phenomenal success.

Facts are of no concern to Horne. Only the nation’s foundational
myths/legends are important. This includes, as he told the
ultra-conservative Heritage Foundation in 2007, the Greco-Roman roots
of western civilization.

Lecia J. Brooks, director of the Civil Rights Memorial Center and
Teaching Tolerance at the Southern Poverty Law Center, the nation’s
premier center for tracking hate crime, says, “The teaching of
so-called ‘individualism’ is but another example of Western European
cultural dominance. This is madness. Educators everywhere should
declare in one voice: ‘Culturally relevant pedagogy actually improves
instruction for all students—that is, if they’re allowed access to
it.’”

Horne isn’t promoting sound educational policy which encourages
critical thinking; he’s selling hyper-U.S. nationalism or nationalized
mind control.

As University of Arizona first-year student Pricila Rodriguez, a Raza
Studies alum from Tucson High, also reminds us, “People that insist
that taxpayer money should not be used for ethnic studies forget that
we are taxpayers, too.”

In protest, supporters in Tucson of ethnic studies will stage a
two-day march to Phoenix on June 28 and 29. It’s about 90 miles
through desert heat. But it’s one way to put the heat on Tom Horne.

Roberto Dr. Cintli Rodriguez, assistant professor at the University of
Arizona, can be reached at: XColumn@gmail.com. It can be read at New
America’s website: http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/

We have tried a few restaurants on East Side San Jose, but no luck. Super Taquería Burritos are good, and Lucy Tamale Factory has some good tamales. Mexico Bakery has the best tortas in all the Bay Area (they are not only huge, but are very tasty). But if you want some good huevos rancheros or chiles rellenos, we still go down town, to Ghekos Restaurant. We recently tried El Grullo, we went there cuz they used to have fresh hand made tortillas every weekend. But not anymore. Their food is ok, but would rather stay home.

It seems that 2008 was a great year for making babies, proof that an economic recession doesn’t mean a recession of love = ). Rudy and Alicia just had their third baby, a beautiful girl named Xochitl Sol. Or in other words, Flower Sun. Beautiful name. It looks like Leonardo Iyari (Corazón) will have someone to play with.

I finally got to use the anarchy patch I bought on Telegraph, at Berkeley. The hat is a little tight, it seems that the “one size fits all” doesn’t really fit all. Especially cabezones como yo. Tete does look cute with it, though.

I took this picture a while back, at the Encuentro Xican@ at UC Berkeley. I had the privilege of introducing Alurista, the well known Chicano poet who authored “El Plan Espiritual de Aztlan,” he was among the first Chicano poets to mix Spanish and English, as well as use indigenous symbolism and the Nahuatl language. It is because of Alurista that Chicanos/as know speak about Aztlan. Also, Lorna Dee Cervantes, one of our strongest and most talented Chicana poets. I recommend reading “Coffee.” She is better known for her poem: “Poem for the young white man Who Asked Me How I, An Intelligent, Well-Read Person, Could Believe In The War Between Races”

I am back-o to the net-o. Sorry for turning off my site without warning, but I was going through some job interviews and I didn’t want people googleing me and reading on my private stuff. But hey, I got the job! Which means that I might need to re-organize this whole site and go anonymous on my journal, from now on. I want to have the freedom to say whatever it is I need without worrying about what people are going to think. I am still thinking about it.

So yes, I am the new Chair of La Raza Studies at Contra Costa College!!! The job looks great and I am very excited!

More soon. I just wanted to share the good news.

Leonardo Iyari

Tete and her little bro Leo.

Tia Denise y Leo.